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Here's the new secret gardeners CD (rel. date 10/12/2015). You transaction is safely encrypted.



  Song Lyrics

1. Voodoo Doll
2. Gravy Train
3. Sunday Moon
4. American Heart (Pollack, Tagliarino)
5. Reward: Lost Heart
6. It Was Not Your Job (Browne, Tagliarino, Weinstein)
7. Turtles All The Way Down
8. Life Was A Dream (Pollack, Tagliarino)
9. Lizards (Pollack, Tagliarino)
10. Shiny New Model
11. The Lap Of Your Love (Tagliarino, Thorne, Vig)
12. Hollywood Hero
13. Sgt. Stedenko's Dance Party Blues
14. Ma Cherie Play Hard To Get

All by Barrett Tagliarino except as noted. ©2015 Expediters of the Spoken Wad ASCAP All Rights Reserved.

Barrett uses Albion amps, DíAddario strings, Planet Waves accessories, and Eastman and Suhr guitars.

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Voodoo Doll baby you sure made a fool out of me Iím gonna make a voodoo doll so you can feel my misery manufactured out of corn shucks yet more compassioniate than you my fractured heart she's gonna fix up when she puts the foot in the other shoe it will only take a minute 'cause I'm a motivated cat and I won't need to stick things in it some other dude is doing that your cheating ears will burn like fire when I hold you upside down you'll start to shiver and perspire thinking how you fooled around baby you sure made a fool out of me Iím gonna make a voodoo doll so you can feel my misery solo in the morning you'll feel funny your face all red and looking weird thatís how I'll wake your doll up, honey scratching with my beard collection agents by the billion you'll be reaching for the phone but I'll have someone to tell you your sweet sugar daddy is gone baby you sure made a fool out of me Iím gonna make a voodoo doll so you can share my misery Iím gonna make a voodoo doll and you'll come crawlin back to me

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Gravy Train I work hard every day in a taco stand this job is not what I had planned but when I get off and meet my baby I can't remember how to complain When I finally meet my baby Feels like I'm on the gravy train my pay is low but I don't even care my girl makes me feel like a millionaire 'cause when I get off and meet my baby you know she treats me like a king yeah when I finally see my baby Feels like I'm on the gravy train harp and gtr solos you know I get so high just thinkin' of my woman can't even cry when I chop an onion and when she's makiní love to me yeah she's like a drug to me When I finally meet my baby Feels like I'm on the gravy train I'm on the gravy train with biscuit wheels Man you don't know how good it feels and when she's makin love to me yeah she's like a drug to me with my sweet lovin' baby Feels like I'm on the gravy train

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Sunday Moon I am the Sunday moon in earth's eclipse Looking down upon this week's apocalypse Nothing I can do I'm just the Sunday moon The only thing of Earth that I can see a ring of blazing light within stars in black around me Such a lovely view from up here on the moon solo One side is every sunrise one side is each sunset seen by every one upon the earth one side is all-wise one believes that it knows best as they come and go from another day of church Nothing I can do I'm just the Sunday moon

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American Heart Papa sent money back, then he told me to wait when they killed him I crossed over cartel couldn't catch me, 'cause I ran too fast an American dream was all I had With my last few dollars I had papers forged Signed on when the war was getting shorter They still had one more IED for me American doctors cut me off at the knees In dreams I can run like any man here In dreams I fly like an eagle I hear firing guns, but all that I fear Just lives in the mind of some people a wounded vet, I finished law school someday to help the poor farmer the state bar found out that my papers were fake American people want me out of this place In dreams I can run like any man here In dreams I fly like an eagle I hear firing guns, but all that I fear Just lives in the mind of some people Waiting to process back out of the states I can only think of creeping over I may be forsaken and dispossessed But an American heart still beats in my chest In dreams I can run like any man here In dreams I fly like an eagle I hear firing guns, but all that I fear Just lives in the mind of some people

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Reward: Lost Heart reward: lost heart, call day or night last time I saw my heart was the day that I met you I didn't think he'd run off 'cause it's me he was attached to I'm thinking that you stole him although I can't be sure my neighbor said they might have seen him hop into your car reward, lost heart, call day or night he doesn't have a name but he'll answer to "hey, sucker" he's not a bitin' fighter, he's a sittin' stayin' lover kinda shy at first but friendly once he gets to know ya when left at home alone he's inclined to melancholia reward, lost heart, call day or night he can be identified by his soft white underbelly and his dark side so if you notice him please tell me he's got a face only a mother could love he only barks to make you think he's tough solo until you return my heart he's your responsibility I worry for the troubles he'll get into without me when I get him back he won't be running loose again he'll only get to see the daylight every now and then reward, lost heart, call day or night

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It Was Not Your Job It was not your job to run my life not my job to run yours my one job was to love you right no matter if we're rich or poor I did the dishes I paid the rent I took you fishin' and to the monster truck event well you went for me 'cause I was down to earth an easy-goin' fun-lovin' guy but what you need is a chump with high net worth in a monkey suit and a tie you're high-falutin' nose in the air I'm from Wisconsin you can smell that dairy air 'cause it was not my job to run your life not your job to run mine my one job was to love you right but you can hang up the help wanted sign yeah baby and you can't fire me, 'cause I resign

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Turtles All The Way Down In the beginning there was this turtle He was the biggest he had found and the quakin' earth was given birth when the turtle moved around Now this here turtle he's on another turtle's back They're holding up the world in a great big stack now everybody would all fly off If the earth was really spinnin around if you say "what holds up the turtles?" I say man it's turtles, all the way down turtles theme if you don't believe about the turtles you can believe it's nothin' to me But your wicked soul would come up from its hole If you could bring yourself to see that all your science comes from corporation shills and when no lies remain only one truth will 'cause everybody would all fly off If the earth was really spinnin around when they say "what holds up the turtles?" just say man it's turtles, all the way down all the way down turtles all the way down goin' all the way down keep goin' down all the way down uh wooh They don't need nothing to stand on They just go on and on

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Life Was A Dream My life was a dream with you smiled down upon by the muse each song became a symphony truth appeared on every line now the night owls hum a tune for me remind me you're no longer mine still you return in my dreams as tulips will bloom every spring and in these dreams you fly with me drifting on a quilt of stars deep and fascinating mysteries secret chord on a guitar interlude when I awaken and I remember you wandered away I get up and get dressed and get on with my day but nights when sleep won't come and I can no longer cry like a mother who has lost her child I softly sing a leftover lullaby life was a dream with you

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Lizards We drove out to the desert I was fighting crazy Ruben for the wheel now he hands me another beer Me and Ruben Siempre hermanos but it's not so simple not like it appears He tries to catch a lizard but only gets the broke off squirming tail he says "you see that sucker run?" I say "why you gotta do that? - That's messed up." He says "it's ok hermano, He'll just grow another one." but I say "Ruben, that's just messed up man. Some thing grows back but it won't be the same Why can't you let it be?" His girl was named Leticia she turned him out the gang he was caught up in then she caught the wrong bullet she left him a little son the boy's with Letty's mama now Ruben wonders if he was her only one now he's gotta ask me and now he's gonna lose his only friend he says did you do it with her bro? I say "why you gotta ask that? - That's messed up." He says "it's ok hermano I just gotta know" but I say "Ruben, that's just messed up man. Some thing grows back but it won't be the same Why can't you let it be?" solo I still remember her warm and earthy softness on my skin warm milk and cinnamon He could pass for the father maybe best that he don't know 'cause if he ain't got me then he ain't got anyone so I tell Ruben I didn't do it with her something once living is snapping in the dirt Think I'll just let it be don't worry mano no me la cogŪ it's gonna be alright we're brothers forever gonna be alright gonna be alright brothers forever let it be alright

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Shiny New Model shiny new model with a high price tag old guitar was a fossil. what a drag I got the shiny new model but I don't mean to brag and I traded up for my wife, the new one's just my type an ex-model brazilian, that's my one in a million once I had her I was had I tell you man this chick was bad You couldn't earn enough to buy all the stuff she would always demand cars, jewelry and land the kind of girl every boy should fear this was the only thing I'd hear I want the shiny new model, let's trade in the jag and to stay in style the Louis Vitton bag with the shiny new model I'll have room to brag she said it's no surprise our life has no passion you ainít bought me a thing but dissatisfaction I should have been smart, but I trusted my heart at least I thought that's the part that she caught now I pay through the nose for a lawyer off I go like a lamb to the slaughter and of course it won't end; now I flirt with her friend I told her don't mention this. My wife will be pissed. I only wish that I could learn but I feel the burn and I yearn I gotta have a brand new ex-model brazilian even if costs me another cool million for the shiny new model with a high price tag thereís a lot I'll ignore like every waving flag with the shiny new model I'll have room to brag with the shiny new model I'll have room to brag

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The Lap Of Your Love Once I lived a life of ease I had plenty of bones and a sweet little maltese but she chewed up my heart along with the doorframe they took me to the pound cause my guilty face got me blamed I was sleeping on a cold hard floor no blanket but the tin roof above now my heart has a home safe and warm lounging in the lap of your love you know since that groggy day I woke up on that table I haven't felt quite so willing and able I just beg you for scraps, and I sleep all day just waiting for the time you feel like you wanna play solo well whenever you want you know I'll go runnin' and fetchin' just to get me a little bit of sweet ol' behind-the-ear scratchin' and I'll make sure to bite everybody that comes around because baby I got to prove I'm your only faithful hound every hole I dig, I dig for you and like my vigilant barking I can last the whole night through that couch had to die, it was so scary and now your clothes are warmer honey since I made them so hairy I was sleeping on a cold hard floor no blanket but the tin roof above now my heart has a home safe and warm lounging in the lap of your love

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Hollywood Hero Yesterday I was batman, today I'm the spider yeah, I'm all that man, and an actor/writer for five lousy bucks, you get your picture with me blaze that shit in your truck with big rubber testes I'm a Hollywood Hero with a bag of cheetos every morning there's a bustle on the boulevard It's a twelve hour hustle, and it's hot and it's hard Michael Jackson gonna getcha if I don't get you first if I can't find somewhere to pee I think my bladder will burst I'm a Hollywood Hero with a bag of cheetos spongy muscles are stitched into my cheap costume my powerful lungs are filled with exhaust fumes Those Rusty Mullet specials are the best deal yet what you paid to remember, I will pay to forget solo well my pleasant facade is getting harder to fake I think my jihad needs a cigarette break and if rumors I heard are to be believed this nightmare will end in the order received I'm a Hollywood Hero with a little bag of cheetos

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Sgt. Stedenko's Dance Party Blues Dance party comin' and I'm gonna get my booty in gear So stay out of my way I been beatin' down the deadbeats, doin' my duty up in here Monday to Friday I'm winnin' the war on drugs Saturday night I'm catchin' a buzz Don't need a device for flotation but the party hats will be worn Keep the crops in rotation 'cause we're stockin' up on barley & corn Roll me over and stand me up I got all sober to Sunday up I seen a fine lookin' woman, I said "baby do you wanna dance?" she said, "no." I said "whaddaya mean, no?" she said, "no, I don't wanna dance!" I said, "Oh! I didn't ask you to dance; I said you look fat in those pants."

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Ma Cherie Play Hard To Get ma cherie play hard to get ma cherie don't want my love ma cherie play hard to get I play hard to get rid of I'm Pepe LePew, I got ze boilin' blood One look at you, I gotta have your love you're ze prettiest one of all ze kitty' you look even better sittin' next to me ma cherie play hard to get ma cherie don't want my love ma cherie play hard to get I play hard to get rid of my little flower, you set my heart on fire I'm your streetcar of desire when it comes to love I'm quick on ze draw quicker than-a old-a quick draw McGraw ma cherie play hard to get ma cherie don't want my love ma cherie play hard to get I play hard to get rid of solo I'm your indian prince, you're my squaw my plan of romance ain't got no flaw I'll take you down for that mardis gras then voulez vous couchez avec moi ma cherie play hard to get ma cherie don't want my love ma cherie play hard to get I play hard to get rid of you can sit real close, don't mind my scent you can hold your nose, I take no offense ain't no fun a-goin' home alone come with me, I'll make your pheromone ma cherie play hard to get ma cherie don't want my love ma cherie play hard to get I play hard to get rid of

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